Almost to the top but not quite

Hilary step stopped me.

I was going to give this blog a title something on the lines of failing to achieve. But as I thought about it over the day, it is not really about failure but about coming to terms with who I am.

I want to share two incidents in my life when I realised I simply was not good enough but the life lesson at the end of this BLOG is the most important. The first was playing sport with my slightly older friend Jimmy. I played too much golf as a teenager, Jimmy did too. He and I would play on a weekend but I would never win. You see Jimmy qualified for the British Open in 1981, he would go round my local course in 64/65/66 I would tootle along in 72/73/74. I expected Jimmy to win the Open, I really did, but he came back after failing to make the cut in the second round. I asked him what happened, and he said  'I was not good enough'. This floored me. I thought he was brilliant of course. He practised very day, I would practice every day, I would caddy for him around the circuit in the local area. I was beginning to understand what it meant to be a professional sports person. However this failure of Jimmy made me realise perhaps I was also not good enough to be a professional sportsmen.

The second incident was when I was studying theoretical physics and astrophysics at college. I shared a student pad with Steve, a fellow undergraduate. Steve was brilliant he would question the lecturers, question their assumptions and he actually proved the existence of gravity waves as an aside. He was awarded a pass 1 of course and then went on to do a PhD in Nuclear Fusion and another PhD somewhere else. I caught up with him when I was about 26 years old when I was working behind a bar (I am not good enough remember), I asked him what he was doing and he said he was an experimental physicist at Kings College, I said to him 'Steve we did not study experimental physics at college'. 'I know' he said 'but I am not good enough to contribute to the theoretical physics side of things!'. Being good and being exceptional are very very different.

These two people worked very very hard at their chosen job. What made them different was the questions they asked of themselves and others around them. They did not suffer fools gladly and had  a playful mind. Also, they practiced differently, there was a precision about their work that impressed me. This practice orientated mind is a common feature among people who excel. They also exhibited resilience and tenacity. Steve, in particular, took a few months to solve one problem. Jim may have taken all day to perfect one shot enough to take with him to the professional circuit.

I have realised some important things as I have reflected on these key experiences. The first is work with or at least hang around gifted folk. I believe in this one quite strongly by doing so they helped me see over the horizon of my own life. The second is the timeless saying; never give up, nothing of any value is worth having if it is too easy. The third, is self belief. A belief that you will achieve, regardless of what people say, do or not do to support you.

What people have you known in life that have made a significant impact on you?
Nick

strong cables, weak threads

The things you value the most might not be so apparent. These strong cables hold us down, keep us supported, keep us strong and just like a tree allow us to move when the winds blow. They give when we give, we are not inflexible and unyielding we are the 'soft animal' that Mary Oliver describes in her poem Wild Geese. 

Yet, we can latch onto 'things' and other stuff. These are the temporary threads that excite us momentarily, they make us feel grounded, just like the cables but their effect is only short lived. 

The plate is the only concrete item left that reminds me of my Father who died in 2007. It reminds me of who I am, half Greek, the times I had with my family and perhaps the shadows of another culture and genetic background. I am attached to this object. Is it really a cable or a thread, if it broke, or was lost would I really drift into the night? 

Take your attention to the things you value and ask yourself 'why do I value this item or even this person', yes it also applies to people. De-cluttering is on trend and is a great idea. 

I was coaching an Indian chap a few years ago and he ended the session with a great quote that I always use 'all you need is warm lodgings and good food with people you love' I like that:) 

 

I'm a Marionette

Imagine a dancing marionette, held up by threads, the puppeteer is the master, moving the marionette this way and that. The marionette has no control as to where it goes. No control as to the movement it has. Under the guidance of a poor hand the movement can appear ungainly, silly and uncoordinated. A master marionettist draws the audience in, they see the reflection of humanity in the nature of the movements. The sideways look, the cocked head, the little movement of the hand to the drawn mouth to mimic embarassment.  
Our mind is our marionettest, the connection between the mind and body goes much deeper than a little thought here and there. Your strings attach to the myriad of emotions (e-motion) and movements we all have, every day. 
Mindfulness and meditation help us control these threads. We direct ourselves, we are our own masters, our own puppetteer. Training the mind is like training the marionette to move and be graceful, thoughtful and aware. 
Not an easy ask. Asked what the purpose of yoga was A G Mohan responded 'to sit in meditation' , still the mind, to focus(one pointed) and have complete control of all thoughts just like a laser directs its beam. We have the power to direct our thoughts. 
Yoga is simply that, directing your thoughts, mind and body together. Make your movements soft, relaxed and controlled. Imagine those strings being pulled by YOU!